Censorship

Don't worry this is NOT a political post!  I'm talking about censoring ourselves.  

I was recently asked to do something that I didn’t want to do.  Instead of just saying no thank you, I stressed about it and then eventually came up with an excuse as to why I couldn’t do it.

Come to think of it, I often don’t say what I truly mean and feel the need to “soften” it because I’m considering someone’s feelings.

WHY?!  Why did I do this?!

I've realized this all stems from wanting to control - control the other person's thoughts, perceptions, feelings etc.

While we may think we're being nice and considerate, not saying what we truly mean is actually a form of manipulation.  Speaking our minds can actually be a gift to someone - even if it's not what they want to hear.

I'd rather hear the truth - if it stings in the moment it's better than the ambiguity that comes with not knowing or being confused when someone's actions don't align with their words.

I'm determined to live a life with more integrity and that means speaking my truth at all times no matter how uncomfortable it may feel.  I encourage you to do the same.

I apologize in advance if offend you - don't take it personally ;)

XO

Adrienne

I'm Busy

A typical conversation I have with someone whether it's a friend, prospect or client goes something like this:

"How are you?" "Good! I've been so busy."

When did busy become a badge of honor? Why is being busy so important in our society? We incessantly keep ourselves busy because we believe that's the way to get ahead.

We may be busy but are we being effective? Are we being present to our lives unfolding?! Or are we just stressed about the next thing to be done hurried through our days?!

I've been thinking a lot about this and I don't want to be busy. I've been filling my calendar jumping from meeting to meeting, event to event.

Although I love what I'm doing now, I find myself just caught back up in the same patterns of working all the time, rushing my life away, waiting for the outcome and striving to reach my goal.

It's time to change this. I want to get intentional about slowing down, creating some white space in my days.

I want to be able to pause and enjoy my morning cup of mud/wtr in a chair while reading, take in the buzzing noises of Spring during my morning walk, really be present with people while I'm having a conversation, eat mindfully and not scarf down a meal in between meetings.

This is what I'm working on. What are we all trying to prove anyway?

Who's with me?!

XO

Adrienne

Discipline

Discipline is defined as training oneself to do something in a controlled or habitual way.

My mentor, Bob Proctor, would say it's the ability to give yourself a command and follow it.

I believe discipline is trading what you want now with what you want later. It's the reason I've been able to stay "on the wagon" since November.

The drink may taste good and be fun in the moment, but I don't want the consequences of how it will make me feel in the future.

A lot of things can feel good in the moment but are they aligned with the future you're trying to create?!

Discipline starts in the mind - holding your attention on what you do want instead of focusing on what is actually happening.

When you focus on the future you want, it becomes much easier to make the right decision in the present.

Ultimately, your successes or failures in life are a result of all the little decisions you are making everyday.

XO

Adrienne

Consistency

This is my 52nd Happy Monday message! It's hard to believe that I've been writing these for a full year.

When I first thought of the idea, I was intimidated about having to do something every single week and I wondered if I would be able to keep it up.

I was nervous, didn't know how I would come up with topics each week or how they would be received. Despite my analytical mind getting in the way, I decided just to do it.

Were there times I didn't feel like writing it? Of course. Times I had writer's block and almost threw in the towel? Heck yes. Times that people unsubscribed and I took it personally and wanted to stop forever? Sadly yes.

But I kept going. These messages have been SO much fun for me to write - even therapeutic. And the positivefeedback I've received from them is what fuels me to keep going.

I'm proud of myself for being consistent. Consistency is key in success. I believe success is virtually guaranteed when you just keep showing up and doing your part.

I encourage you to pick one thing that scares you to become consistent with. Tell your family and friends (or me!) so you're on the hook.

"Success doesn't come from what we do occasionally; it comes from what we do consistently."

XO

Adrienne

Trying vs Doing

I just got back from another incredible retreat with one of my amazing teachers, Dr. Joe Dispenza and wow, I am FULL of insights.

"Trying is the illusion of separation." is one thing he said that stood out to me.

I think about this concept often because I hear clients and prospects tell me all the time "I'm trying to do this," or "I've tried that in the past," etc etc.

When we TRY we are setting ourselves up for failure. Trying implies you're going to put in the effort but you don't really expect it to happen.

Go for it and just DO it. Act like you KNOW it's going to work. Show up and get busy DOING it.

Trying means you're separate from the outcome. If you want to use your mind to get the results you want, you must feel like it's already happened NOW!

Think of something you're "trying" at and tackle it this week as doing. See how the outcome changes.

XO

Adrienne

Drifting or Steering?

Thoughts Become Things. Every religion, philosopher, mystic etc. all agreed that we become what we think about.

Which means we have control over only one thing in life - our thoughts.

If our thoughts are producing our life, then I ask you - are you drifting or steering?

When you drift, that means you're reactionary to the outside world. You're in the back seat with a crazy driver and no seat belt, bouncing all over the place.

You let life happen TO you and you think you're just along for the ride.

When you steer, you're in charge. You're the driver and you KNOW your destination.

It doesn't matter if there are road blocks, detours and bumps - you have the tools to navigate through it and can relax knowing you'll eventually make it.

Kick that crazy driver out, set your destination and take the wheel.

Guard your mind, don't react to the current circumstances, just keep focused on your destination.


XO

Adrienne

Big Goals

On Friday I celebrated one year in business! And what a year it's been!

I've been spending a lot of time reflecting on the past year and honoring what I've accomplished.

When I started, I had some lofty goals for my first year. I saw myself with over a hundred clients and my target income by the end of year one was $100k/month.

Did I hit that? No. Was I disappointed? Absolutely not. Here's what I did accomplish:

—>Hit six figures in under a year
—>Replicated my former monthly income in month 12
—>Have an amazing group of clients that are changing their mindset and achieving their goals (which feels better than any amount of money coming in!)

Most people set goals they think they can achieve. Perhaps it's just a little stretch for them and they believe it will give them more confidence and momentum if they reach it.

NO! You need to set BIG, CRAZY, I call them OMG Goals. Ones that seem SO big but light you up inside!

If you don't hit it right away, no biggie. You'll have accomplished a heck of a lot more in that same amount of time than setting a "safe" goal.

You just keep aiming as high as you can and all the little goals fall into place.

We have a limited amount of time here on this third rock from the sun - make it count. Live the life you’re dreaming of - not the one you're settling for.

"Shoot for the moon - even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

XO

Adrienne

What If

Recently I have been shifting all my worries to "What If" questions instead.

I learned about "What If" questions from one of the amazing teachers I studyunder and they have been so fun to use.

Worrying comes so naturally to me but it puts us in a negative, low vibration. And what's really the point of it?!

Most of what we worry about never even comes true!

So now when I catch myself worrying, I instead say "What if everything works out just as I want it to?" Or "What if everything is working out for my highest good?" Or even "What if I easily received everything I deserve?"

They help me relax and realize there's absolutely nothing to worry about. They make me trust that the universe has my back and everything I want will come when it's supposed to.

Remember: Worrying doesn't take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace.

XO

Adrienne

Get Uncomfortable

Comfort zones - safe, warm, cozy and predictable. Bottom line is they feel good! That's why it's so difficult to get out of them.

I've preached a lot about getting uncomfortable and how important it is for our growth but I want you to know I practice what I preach.

My rule is do one thing per day that scares me.

Whether it's something like going live on instagram every Monday which I recently committed to or trying crossfit no matter how intimidated I was, I always feel good after I stretch myself.

This past weekend I was on a ski trip to Jackson Hole, WY. I've heard about the steepness of this mountain and my plan was to just stick on the lower part and play it safe.

Until I was convinced to head to the very top of the mountain where they make an announcement as you're going up that it is for expert skiers only - which I am far from.

Was I scared heading up there? YES! Did I play out all kinds of horrifyingsituations in my head? YES! Did I let the fear stop me? NO!!!

There are two ways to grow in life - get uncomfortable and do things that scare you. Or wait until life forces a situation on you where you have no choice. When you intentionally are growing and getting uncomfortable, it makes the life situations much easier to handle.

My challenge to you this week is to get uncomfortable - do one thing that scares you. I'd love to hear about it when you do :)

XO

Adrienne

Tug of War

We've all seen it - some sort of depiction of our conscience as an angel and a devil persuading us to do (or not do) certain things.

As I bring more and more awareness to every thought and feeling that goes through my mind, I am able to see the tug of war that happens every day.

My theory is that it isn't an angel and devil so much as it's our ego versus our higher self; our inner caveman and our spirit; our human side versus our soul.

The former is always living out of fear and wanting instant gratification. The latter always knowing what is in our highest and best interest for the future and what we really want in life.

The conundrum is we have free will - and it takes an act of extreme courage and self-love to follow that highest and best path because the other side is so tantalizing.

A few examples how this has been showing up for me lately:

-Hanging out with someone even though I know they're not good for me but it helps avoid loneliness now.
-Being tempted by a drink while I'm out with friends even though I made a commitment to myself not drink anymore but it looks so fun. (Happy to say I have not given in and I'm 120 days+ alcohol free!)
-Eating whatever is served at a party even though I'm on a detox diet just because I don't want to be "that person."

We're faced with these types of decisions every day. The easy way is to follow the devil, ego, caveman or whatever you want to call it for the instant gratification. It takes a strong commitment to ourselves and our future to choose the higher path.

I'm learning to operate more from my higher self and what I know is right for the future I want to create, but it isn't easy. It can leave me feeling lonely, isolated, and different in the short term but in the long run I know it will pay off.

The more I listen to that side, the more the devil has started to quiet down.

I'd love to know, does this happen to you? Start listening to that inner dialogue and see how it shows up in your life.

XO

Adrienne

The Unfamiliar

I went to yoga class on Friday at a different studio than usual because the time worked with my schedule.

I went prepared to do routine flows and chaturangas but I quickly realized this teacher was different. In the first ten minutes I already did two new postures - which is out of the norm since I've been doing yoga for almost 15 years!

My mind started throwing a fit. "What is this pose?" "I've never even heard of this!" "Ugh this posture is terrible - am I even doing this right?!" "I do NOT like this teacher!" And on and on it went.

Until I caught it. Our minds love the familiar and resist the unfamiliar. That's why change is so difficult - because it literally doesn't feel good.

As soon as I caught myself I had to laugh. Then I just noticed the thoughts instead of letting myself get emotionally involved with them, and grounded back into the present moment by focusing on my breath and how my body was feeling.

If my mind chirped up again, I brought it right back. It reminded me how much we fight the unfamiliar in life. When things start to change, we throw little tantrums.

But the unfamiliar is where the magic happens in life! It wakes us up from sleep walking and opens our eyes to life. It gets us out of our comfortzones and into the present moment - which is the only time we ever have.

Welcome the unfamiliar. And soon the mind will be so used to the unfamiliar, the comments will quiet down.

XO

Adrienne

Unlearning

Over the weekend I spent time with dear of friends and their two young children.

We talked about how there is no manual for parents, you just learn as you go. That's what our parents did. And their parents and their parents.

It's a beautiful part of the human experience - we're all just bumbling through life doing the best we can. All parents are well-intentioned but inevitably we pick up beliefs that stay programmed into our subconscious mind that just don't serve us anymore.

Maybe you were told not to talk to strangers as a child, but now it makes you feel like the world can't be trusted. Or you were taught that money doesn't grow on trees so now you live with a lack mentality.

A big part of our job in this lifetime is to UN-learn things that have been programmed into us. Remember the mind is a machine and just like a computer it can be programmed and more importantly, reprogrammed so we can install beliefs that align to what we consciously want.

If we continue to have a subconscious belief that isn't aligned with what we want consciously, we will be fighting against that all the time and things will seem difficult.

When our subconscious mind is programmed with what it is we DO want, our actions and behavior become effortless.

If you want to know what is in your subconscious mind, start looking at your outside world - your results, relationships etc are a direct reflection of your subconscious mind.

And if you're not satisfied with your outer world, it can easily be changed.

I'd love to take you on a journey to show you how.

XO

Adrienne

Happiness is a State of Mind

It's written in the the Declaration of Independence that our natural rights are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Maybe that's why we've got it all wrong. It's been engrained in us that we have to pursue happiness. Like somehow it's out there, somewhere outsideof us.

For most of my life this is what I did. Worked at a job I didn't love but paid well, then used that money to go incessantly pursue things I thought would make me happy - vacations, concerts, material possessions etc.

The problem was that everything was so short-lived and kept me cravingmore which meant I needed even more money to keep chasing all the endless things I thought would make me happy.

Now I understand that is NOT how it works. Happiness is a state of mind - it's something inside of us and we must make a conscious choice to be happy every day.

I can be just as happy sitting on my couch sipping tea as I am skiing in Vail for the weekend. It makes life so much better that I never want to be anywhere but where I am at any given moment.

Don't get me wrong, I still fall back into that pattern from time to time since just like everyone else in this country it's so embedded in my mind - but now I am able to stop and recognize when I'm doing it and remember happiness lives within me and no amount of money, fun, adventures etc. will ever be able to fill that.

Because when you're happy on the inside, everything outside must reflect that.

XO

Adrienne

Love

It's Valentine’s Day!!!  Which I believe is just a big marketing ploy to get us to ingest more sugar but that’s a story for another day :)

Today I want to talk about LOVE.

I’ve learned we are all pure love at our core.  Our hearts are boundless and it’s really just our minds that put limitations on our love.  

Everything stems from our own love for ourselves so we must learn to love and accept ourselves just as we are in order to fully love others.

I recently had an EKG and learned that how it works is our hearts create electricity and the machine is able to pick up on the electrical currents to see if everything is working properly.  How COOL is that!  

With that electricity, our hearts create an electromagnetic field that emanates from us that literally acts like a magnet and attracts to us other things that are on that same frequency.  Just like we learned in Science class, like attracts like.

When we’re not in touch with our hearts and it’s closed off - what kind of things do you think that field is bringing into your life?!  I would like to encourage you to get back in touch with it.  

How?  Well where you put your attention is where you put your energy.

Take a few minutes today to breathe into your heart and thank it for beatingfor all these years without question.  Send it your much needed love, attention & energy. 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Adrienne

The Best is Yet to Come

My birthday is coming up this week and I turn 39 - the last year in my 30's. I've been reflecting on the past 9 years and everything that has happened.

I got married, divorced, earned the CFA, got a few promotions that eventually led me to relocate across the country after spending my whole life in the northeast, started over in a new city, found love again, lost it again, embarked on a path of self-discovery that led me to quit my finance career after 16 years and start my own business doing something I love and followed my heart vs my head for the first time in my life.

It's been a wild and fun adventure and I'm grateful for it all. With each triparound the sun, most people dread getting another year older. Lamentingabout the past as the "good old days" and wondering where the time went.

What if instead we believed that the best is yet to come? That no matter what age you're turning, it's going to be the best year of your life?! You'd have a new found excitement for life and what's to come, wouldn't you?!

The past is a great teacher and it's wonderful to be grateful for all the goodtimes, but let's start putting more credence in our future.

And remember that this present moment is what is creating our future. The more we can embrace and enjoy life right now, the better our future will be.

Start trusting that the best is yet to come - I know I do.

XO

Adrienne

Feeding Your Mind

I'm not much of a TV watcher, but over the past couple of weeks I decided to indulge in the show Yellowstone after hearing so much hype around it. I immediately got hooked. Kevin Costner, cowboys, shoot outs - what's not to like?!

I noticed something though after a couple of sessions binge watching it. I would have stressful or violent dreams afterwards.

Dreams are interesting because they are a great indication of what we are attracting into our lives.

If you have dreams that feel good, you're in a positive vibration and attracting good experiences to you. It's why I always try to write down my dreams every morning so I can see what kind of state I'm in.

It was a great reminder that if we want to feel good and attract good things to us, we must feed our minds positive things.

If we're only watching alarming news, violent shows, scary movies etc, that gets programmed directly into our minds and affects our moods.

I'm not saying not to watch any of this but if you notice yourself in a fearful, anxious or negative state, try taking a break from the negativity and feed your mind something positive instead.

You'll start feeling better instantly.


XO

Adrienne

Microcosms

I'm a believer in the theory - how you do one thing is how you do everything. If you believe that, you are able to learn a lot about yourself by examininghow you do things daily - looking at everything as a microcosm to your whole life.

As I sat in yoga class yesterday, I thought about this concept. It's the perfectexample - do you push yourself out of your comfort zone? Do you take on too much even when your body is screaming to stop? Do you go to child's posethe minute it starts getting tough? Do you do these same things in life?

During most classes the teacher gives us some "play time" that is typically used as an opportunity to get upside down.

While I know I can do headstand, I never take the chance. I justify it by saying my body needs a different type of stretch.

But yesterday I got curious and honest with myself. I don't do it out of fear - fear of falling, hitting my neighbor and causing a ruckus. I tell myself that I will practice at home and when I have it down 100% I will try it in class.

Then I realized I do this in so many other areas of my life. I let fear get the best of me and don't go for it. I worry about messing up, not being perfectand caring what people think.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be held back because of fear. I want to live a life of freedom and be the truest version of myself. And that means putting fear and my ego aside.

Next time, I'm doing that headstand.

Guard Your Mind

The other day I had a situation where I was bothered by something a friend of mine did. Later that night I found myself in a thought loop of self-righteousness thinking "that was so rude; how could they do that; I would never do that to someone" etc.

Then I caught myself. As you probably know by now, I am a full believer that our thoughts create our realities which then means what goes through my mind is the most valuable resource I have. Why would I spend my precious mental energy replaying the scenario or even giving it to that person at all?!

When these things happen to us, it's never about the other person. It's always about us and how we handle it. We have a tendency to sit on our high horse and point the finger at someone or something else, but that is the easy way out.

Can you take it as an opportunity to look inward? Find out why you're so triggered by it?

When a situation activates us, it means there is an aspect of ourselves that needs to be healed. If you can recognize it, you start to take better care of yourself in those moments and not let people or situations bother you. And it's extremely liberating because it means nothing anyone does can ever shake you!

Imagine if more people in the world stopped pointing fingers and instead used it as an opportunity to look at themselves? Wow what a more peaceful world we'd have!

Let's all do our part :)

Have More Fun

For the last couple of years I write down a word for my year ahead. This yearthat word is fun.

Of course everyone would say they'd like more fun in their lives. But I'm not talking about endlessly chasing more "fun" experiences in life.

To me, it means having more fun every day in every task.

We tend to take life and ourselves so seriously - mindlessly going from one task to another, stressed about our to do lists and all of life's demands. Rarely thinking abut how we can transform these things into something fun.

Here are some ideas:

-->Change the way you look at the task ex: Doing laundry as a chance to thank your clothes for keeping you warm and being part of how you show yourself to the world
-->Put on the happiest most uplifting music you can find while doing something stressful or mundane and pretend every cell in your body is having a dance party
-->Imagine your life is a movie (think Truman Show) and spontaneously do weird things to make the audience laugh
-->Have a huge grin on your face and see who can notice through your mask at the grocery store (one of my personal favorites)

Can we find more levity, more laughter, and just more playfulness in our day to day lives? That's my goal for this year :)

Clean Slate

Happy New Year!  I always love the beginning of the year - we get a freshstart and another chance to make our year amazing.  

I know a lot of people feel the same way and everyone is eager to make their resolutions for the year.  But what happens?  Typically they're forgotten by February.

What I've learned over the past year is we never have to wait to start fresh.  Every moment of every day is a chance to start over.  

Success is all about forgiving yourself, forgetting the mistakes and having the tenacity to get back on track.  

A successful life is nothing more than a collection of successful days put together.  So look at each day as a building block to your life.

Take it one day at a time and do your best.  If you fall off track with your resolutions (or whatever it is you'd like to accomplish) forgive yourself and start again.  

This is the key to building a successful habit, successful days and a successful life.

XO

Adrienne